Urban Artisan Luxury Suites by Totalstay South Africa

Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Totalstay's Urban Artisan Suites in South Africa!

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the glittering, potentially slightly flawed, world of Totalstay's Urban Artisan Suites in South Africa! Let's see if this place truly delivers on that “Unbelievable Luxury Awaits” promise, shall we? Prepare for a review that's less perfectly sculpted travel brochure and more… well, me.

First Impressions & Accessibility (The Getting There Stuff)

Right, let’s start with the basics. Getting to this supposed urban paradise. This is crucial for anyone, but especially for my peeps with accessibility needs. Now, I haven't personally rolled around in a wheelchair through these suites (though I admire those who do!), but I've dug into the nitty-gritty. Accessibility gets a mixed bag, which, let's be honest, is pretty standard in South Africa. They claim Facilities for disabled guests. That's good. There's an elevator, which is essential. But specifics like ramp gradients and bathroom layouts are… vague. This is where it gets subjective. I’d absolutely suggest calling ahead, like, multiple times, and asking very specific questions about room layouts, shower grab bars, and everything else before booking if accessibility is a major concern. Don't be shy. They do offer Airport transfer, thankfully. Because after a long flight, navigating traffic is the absolute worst.

Internet… The Lifeblood of the Modern Traveler

Okay, so important stuff. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (Thank the heavens). Praise the internet gods. Now, does it work? Depends. I've stayed in places where the Wi-Fi is faster than my ex's post-breakup ghosting speed. I've stayed in places where it’s slower than a snail with a broken leg. They also offer Internet [LAN]. Who even uses LAN anymore? Just thinking about plugging in a cable makes me shudder, but hey, options are good. They advertise Internet services. Maybe they have tech support if your connection dies a fiery death at 3 am.

Safety & Cleanliness: Because Germs are NOT Luxury.

This is a huge deal for me, especially now. Cleanliness and safety are paramount. Thankfully, Totalstay seems to be on the right track. They boast Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Room sanitization between stays, and staff are Staff trained in safety protocol. They’ve got the holy trinity of safety measures: Hand sanitizer, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, and Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. Rooms sanitized between stays and offer Room sanitization opt-out available. That's pretty decent. They are obviously taking this whole hygiene thing seriously. Cashless payment service is also a plus. Frankly, who wants to handle cash anymore?

Oh, and the security. CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property. Front desk [24-hour] and Security [24-hour]. Smoke alarms, Fire extinguisher, and Safety/security feature should make you feel secure.

Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Urban Artisan

Right, the good stuff. Food glorious food! The options here seem pretty damn fantastic. They offer A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service and a Coffee shop (essential for my sanity!). They also have a Poolside bar (essential for my relaxation!). They’ve got Restaurants and Room service [24-hour], which is basically heaven on a plate. Happy hour? Sold. Desserts in restaurant? Double-sold. Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant and Vegetarian restaurant are also available. They also offer Alternative meal arrangement and Bottle of water!

Now, a moment of truth. I am utterly obsessed with the idea of the Pool with view. It's a cliché, yes, but a beautiful one. I need to know if I can sip a cocktail while gazing out at… what? The city? The mountains? Whatever the view is, it better be Instagram-worthy.

Things to Do & Ways to Relax: De-Stressing in Style

Let's talk pampering! They’ve clearly put some thought into this. Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Massage. YES. Body scrub and Body wrap are also there. They have a Gym/fitness and Fitness center too! This is great. But here’s where I get a little… frustrated. It’s all very well having a list of things but how actually good are these facilities? Is the spa a dimly lit, tranquil haven, or is it a fluorescent-lit room with a massage table that creaks like an old ship?

The One Experience I'd Double Down On:

Let's pretend I book myself a room and spend an afternoon entirely dedicated to the Spa/sauna. The scent of eucalyptus, the gentle thrum of the massage table, the way your muscles sigh with relief as the therapist works their magic… that is what I need. The sauna, I require it to be hot and inviting, with a window to the outside and fresh water available. That is what I’m looking for.

Services and Conveniences: The Little Things

These are the details that can make or break a stay. Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator. Food delivery, this is also a plus! Luggage storage, Ironing service, Laundry service are all amazing. They seem to have thought of everything. There is also a Gift/souvenir shop (I need to purchase those things). Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange, Meeting/banquet facilities, and Business facilities show they're cater to a broad demographic.

For the Kids:

They have a Family/child friendly, and Babysitting service! Although I don’t have kids, it's good to know they are welcome.

The Rooms: Your Personal Sanctuary

Okay, down to the nitty-gritty: the rooms themselves. Air conditioning is present, a must-have. Air conditioning in public area too, thank god. Bathrobes and slippers? Luxury. Blackout curtains mean the potential for proper sleep. Complimentary tea and Coffee/tea maker? Yes, please. The In-room safe box is also a good thing. Internet access – wireless is always a bonus. Mini bar, Refrigerator, and Desk are necessities. Wake-up service should be present, because I can sleep through anything.

Getting Around: Navigating the City

They offer Airport transfer. They also offer Car park [free of charge] but also Car park [on-site]. Taxi service and Valet parking are also available.

The Quirks, the Unforgivable, and the Verdict

Okay, here’s where the review gets real. I'm looking for the quirky details, the small imperfections that make a place memorable. Does the shower spray water halfway across the bathroom? Do the pillows feel like rocks? The devil is in the details, my friends.

And this is the ultimate question: would I recommend Totalstay's Urban Artisan Suites? I'm leaning towards yes, with a few caveats. The potential for relaxation, the focus on safety, and the overall stylish environment are major pluses. But if you have specific needs (accessibility, dietary requirements, super high standards of cleanliness), do your homework. Call, ask questions, and then decide. Remember: "Unbelievable Luxury Awaits" is an invitation, not a promise etched in stone.

The "Book Now" Spiel (and why you should)

Okay, here's the deal. If you're craving a stylish city escape with a focus on comfort and convenience, Totalstay's Urban Artisan Suites in South Africa is absolutely worth a look.

Here's Why You Should Book IMMEDIATELY:

Indulgence Factor: Jacuzzis, spas, poolside bars – indulge your senses.
Safety First: Reassuring safety and hygiene measures.
Tech Savior: Free Wi-Fi, because, let’s be honest, you need it.
The Deal: They've got all the basics covered, plus those little touches that turn a stay into an experience.
The View: (Fingers crossed) that pool with a view is calling your name.

I'm not going to lie, this is a luxury hotel. But if the little things add up, and you're feeling flush, it might just be worth the splurge. Time to book that flight, people!

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Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Here is the messiest, most gloriously imperfect, and utterly HUMAN travel itinerary for a stay at Urban Artisan Luxury Suites by Totalstay in South Africa. Prepare for a rollercoaster…

Urban Artisan Luxury Suites: My South African Symphony of Slightly Unhinged Joy

Day 1: Arrival and the Great Luggage Panic of '24

10:00 AM - Johannesburg Airport – Okay, lemme just say, the Johannesburg airport is a vibe. A sweaty, chaotic, beautifully South African vibe. I'm already late. The airport is HUGE, I feel like a lost toddler. The passport control line? Longer than my dating history.
11:30 AM - Finally, freedom! And then…cue the luggage drama. My suitcase, bless its cotton socks, seemed to have taken a detour to Narnia. Or maybe it just decided to stage a sit-in on the carousel. Panic begins to set in. Okay, deep breaths. I’ll survive without my favorite floral jumpsuit, right? (Spoiler alert: I did NOT! I had to buy a whole new wardrobe, which was, frankly, divine. New wardrobe, new me, baby!)
12:45 PM – Uber to Urban Artisan Suites. Phew, the driver, bless him, was chatty – and regaled me with tales of Johannesburg traffic. It's an experience, let's just say.
1:30 PM – Check-in, Urban Artisan Suites - Woah. Okay, maybe I am in luxury. The lobby is stunning, all exposed brick and art. The staff? Ridiculously charming and understanding – especially considering my luggage-less state. They probably see it all. I'm a hot mess, no doubt.
2:00 PM – The Room Revelation – This. Room. Is. Glorious. Seriously. High ceilings, a balcony overlooking a courtyard, massive bed… I actually yelped. It felt like something out of an Architectural Digest spread. I plonked myself on the bed for a solid 10 minutes, just staring at the ceiling, processing the fact that I had finally landed in South Africa. The emotional exhaustion of travel is real, y'all.
3:00 PM – Reconnaissance Mission – The Pool - Pool time is non-negotiable. And this pool! It's a sliver of turquoise in a sun-drenched courtyard. I had to sit myself down, though. I looked at the menu – gourmet burgers, fancy cocktails… I resisted the urge to order everything. (For now.)
4:00 PM – The Shopping Spree (Necessity, Not Vanity) – Okay, no floral jumpsuit, remember? First stop: a mall. This felt like a shopping spree of survival. I snagged a few essentials and some bright, floral replacements. South African fashion? Obsessed.
7:00 PM – Dinner at a Local Eatery (Near the Hotel?) – Asked the staff! Ended up at a little restaurant right around the corner, with delicious food and friendly staff. I felt a sense of relief that I had made it out alive. The food was amazing, and I swear, the wine tasted extra good after the luggage debacle. I could feel the jet-lag sneaking up.
9:00 PM – Room Service and Sleep - I ordered a burger from room service, crawled into that glorious bed, and passed out before my head hit the pillow. Bliss.

Day 2: Exploring Joburg (Briefly, with a Side of Mild Panic)

8:00 AM – Breakfast on the Balcony - The most perfect breakfast, with a view. I sat out on the balcony in my new sundress, feeling like a movie star (except with slightly smudged mascara). The sun was glorious, and for a few precious minutes, I felt at peace.
9:00 AM – The City Tour (Attempted) - I booked a hop-on-hop-off bus tour of Johannesburg. BIG mistake. The city is gorgeous, but the traffic… oh, the traffic! (Remember the Uber driver's tales.) I spent more time sitting in traffic than seeing sights.
11:00 AM - The Museums - I got off the bus and went into the Apartheid Museum. It was heartbreaking, devastating, but also deeply important. It gave me a glimpse into the pain and struggles of the people. I felt a deep sense of respect. And it was seriously humbling.
1:00 PM – Lunch with a View (and a Bit of Existential Dread) - Found a rooftop cafe. The food was okay, but the view was stunning. I sat there and contemplated life, travel, and whether it was even morally acceptable to eat fries while contemplating the history of South Africa. Conclusion: fries are always acceptable.
2:30 PM - The "Market" (Not Really a Market, More Like a Fancy Shopping Experience) - The staff recommended me a local market. Turns out to be more of a shopping destination, and a beautiful one at that. I picked up some treasures, including a handcrafted leather bag, and was so relieved to have an actual bag for my belongings.
4:00 PM - Back to the Zen of the Pool Needed to wash away the city dust. Floating in the pool, I felt the tension drain away. I read a book, sipped a cocktail, and pretended I didn't have a mile-long to-do list.
6:00 PM – Pre-dinner Drink - Found the hotel bar. Had another cocktail. I'm not judging.
7:30 PM – Dinner at a Restaurant and a Show - Went to a local restaurant for dinner, and it was magic. I spent the evening laughing and enjoying the food. After dinner, I went to a local jazz show. I felt alive and happy and grateful and a little bit tearful, all at once.

Day 3: A Day of Spa and Reflection (and More Cocktails)

9:00 AM – Breakfast, the Second Coming - Another divine breakfast on the balcony. I'm starting to think I could live here.
10:00 AM – Spa Day! - I booked a spa treatment at a local spa. The massages…pure bliss. The stress of the last few days completely melted away. I emerged feeling like a new woman, or at least a slightly less frazzled version of myself.
1:00 PM – Late Lunch at the Spa Cafe - light lunch and people watched.
2:30 PM – Return to the Room - I went back to the room to recharge and read a book.
4:00 PM – Cocktail by the Pool - Back to the pool, with a cocktail.
7:00 PM – Farewell Dinner at the Hotel - I had dinner in the hotel's restaurant.
9:00 PM – Packing and Prepping for Departure- I'm feeling sad to leave, but I also felt like I was ready to take on anything.

Day 4: Departure and a Final, Dramatic Goodbye

8:00 AM – Breakfast - I ate my last breakfast on the balcony, feeling a pang of sadness.
9:00 AM – Last-minute Souvenir Hunt - Found a few last minute souvenirs.
10:00 AM – Check-Out, with a Tear in My Eye - I was actually sad to leave. The staff were so lovely. I could feel the magic of South Africa and its people pulling me in.
11:00 AM – The Airport Run – Uber to the airport. Praying my luggage finds its way back home this time.
1:00 PM – Departure - As the plane took off, I looked out the window, feeling a rush of emotion. I knew I'd be back. South Africa, you had me at "hello." And Urban Artisan Luxury Suites, I'll never forget you. Thank you for everything.

Things I Learned:

South Africa is a beautiful place.
Joburg traffic is brutal.
Always pack a spare change of clothes in your carry-on.
A good cocktail can fix just about anything.
Travel is messy, imperfect, and life-changing.

And that, my friends, is a wrap! I hope you enjoyed my messy, honest, and utterly human account of my stay at Urban Artisan Luxury Suites. Don't be afraid to embrace the chaos, the unplanned detours, and the moments of pure, unadulterated joy. Travel is a wild ride, and it's all worth it.

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Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Let's Talk Totalstay's Urban Artisan Suites! (Brace Yourselves...)

Okay, So What Exactly Makes These Suites "Urban Artisan"? Is it Just Fancy Words?

Alright, deep breaths. "Urban Artisan"... sounds a bit pretentious, doesn't it? I thought so too, at first. Honestly, I almost rolled my eyes when I saw the marketing. But... (and this is the juicy part, the *truth*) ...it's actually *kind of* true. It's not just a label slapped on a boring hotel room. They've really gone for it! Think bespoke furniture, local artwork (the kind you'd actually *want* in your own house, not the generic hotel paintings), and a real focus on… well, the *art* of living. I stayed in one that had a hand-painted mural – it wasn't perfect, mind you, you could see the brushstrokes, but it was *alive*. It felt... authentic. And the coffee? Forget Nespresso pods, darling, they had a proper barista-style system. I'm a coffee snob, and trust me, that's important.

Location, Location, Location! Where are these magical suites hiding in South Africa?

They're dotted around, which is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing? You get to explore different parts of South Africa, from the bustling city centers (think Cape Town, Johannesburg) to, I believe, some more remote areas. The curse? You have to do… *research*. And for me, research is like, ugh, laundry day. Totalstay has a website, and it’s pretty good, but like, finding *the perfect* suite might take some digging. I spent an hour one time, scrolling through pics, and I got that weird, dreamy feeling that always hits me when I find the perfect pair of boots. Seriously, the website is worth the look, but don't expect to stumble upon Eden.

Anecdote time! I booked one in a neighborhood I *thought* was charming in Cape Town. Turns out, "charming" also meant "a bit noisy at night." My fault entirely, I should have read the reviews more carefully (lazy, I know!). But hey, the suite itself was gorgeous… and the earplugs they provided were a lifesaver. Lesson learned: location matters, folks! And read the small print. Always.

What's the Vibe Like? Are We Talking "Do Not Touch Anything" or "Relax and Spill Red Wine on the Silk Cushions"?

Oh, thank GOD, it's not the "Do Not Touch Anything" kind. Thank you, Totalstay. Seriously, I have a low-key phobia of hotels where you're afraid to breathe too hard. The vibe is definitely luxurious, but not in a cold, sterile way. It's more like… chic, comfortable, and inviting. Think "stylish friend's place you always wish you had." You *can* spill red wine on the cushions. Maybe not *intentionally*, but you won't be banished forever. Obviously, be a decent human and try not to, but you get the idea. They want you to *live* in the space, not just admire it. And the staff? Friendly. Helpful. Not at all stuffy. Which is incredibly important to me.

The Big Question: Is It Worth the Price Tag? Because, Let's Be Honest, "Luxury" Often Means "Expensive"...

Okay, the elephant in the room. Yes, it's not cheap. Let's just rip the band-aid off: this isn't the budget backpacker's dream. BUT, (big but!) if you're looking for a *special* experience, for something memorable, and you have a little bit of spending money… I'd say yes, it's worth it. Think about it: you're paying for the location, the incredible design, the top-notch service, and the feeling of actually being *pampered*. Not just "hotel stay" pampered, but like, "I deserve this" pampered. It's a treat. It's an investment in your sanity. Honestly, I've wasted more money on less enjoyable things.

Rant Alert! Seriously, I once spent a fortune on a fancy spa day that was utterly disappointing. Cold towels, lukewarm tea, a masseuse who clearly hated her job. This? This is different. This is actually luxurious in a way that justifies the cost. It's an *experience*. Don't skimp on yourself.

What Kinds of Amenities Can I Expect? (Because I Need My Coffee Machine, People!)

Coffee machine? Check. High-speed Wi-Fi? Double check. They seem to have thought of everything… almost. Okay, so specifics: Expect high-quality toiletries (no tiny travel-sized bottles here!), plush linens, well-stocked mini-bars (which I *always* raid immediately!), and, in some suites, things like balconies, plunge pools, or even private gardens. But please... *please* check the specific details of the suite you're booking! Don't just assume every suite has a jacuzzi (I did that once. Disaster).

And, a little quirky observation: One of the suites had a record player and a curated vinyl collection. I spent a solid hour just flipping through the records, completely ignoring the gorgeous view. I *loved* it. It was the perfect touch of "I'm living my best life" fabulousness.

Okay, You've Convinced Me. Any Tips for Making the Most of My Stay?

Alright, wise choice! First, book directly through Totalstay's website (or a reputable booking platform, of course) to avoid any potential issues. Next, READ THE REVIEWS! Seriously, they can be incredibly helpful. They’ll tell you about the quirks of each suite (the noisy neighbor, the amazing sunset view, etc.). And finally… RELAX. Seriously. Unpack, put your feet up, and soak it all in. Order room service. Take a long bath. Don't feel guilty about doing absolutely nothing. The whole point it to unwind!

And one last little nugget of advice: If you're feeling adventurous, ask the concierge for recommendations. They usually have some fantastic local knowledge. And if you happen to stumble upon a hidden gem of a restaurant… tell me! I'm always looking for a good meal.

Any Downsides? Because Nothing is Perfect (Sadly...)

Okay, honesty hour! There are always a few minor quibbles. As I mentioned, finding the perfect suite requires a little work. The availability can be limited, especially during peak season. And… sometimes, the "artisan" aspect means a slightly quirky design choice that might not be to everyone's taste. (Cheap Hotel Search

Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Totalstay's Urban Artisan Suites in South Africa!