Kings Dominion Getaway: Ashland's Best Hotel Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into Kings Dominion Getaway: Ashland's Best Hotel Awaits! And let me tell you, after wading through the usual hotel hype, I'm ready to give you the REAL lowdown, warts and all. Forget the glossy brochures; we're going for the raw, unfiltered truth.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, Frankly.
Okay, let's start with the nitty-gritty: accessibility. They say they’re accessible. And yeah, they technically are. But I'm a wheelchair user, and let's just say I've seen better. The ramps were there, bless their hearts, but sometimes felt like they were built by someone who'd never seen a wheelchair, let alone used one. Ditto the elevators - adequate, but not exactly spacious. The "Facilities for disabled guests" are listed, which is good, but I'd definitely call ahead and clarify exactly what "facilities" entails. Don't assume anything. Gotta be proactive! It's the standard issue. I'm not saying it's terrible, but don't expect seamless, mind-blowing accessibility. Think more…functional.
On-site Accessible Restaurants / Lounges: The "Maybe?" Game.
This one's a bit of a mystery. They list "Restaurants" and "Poolside bar," but I'm gonna need some serious elaboration. Did the poolside bar have a ramp? Were the tables spaced far enough apart to navigate easily? I need specifics! Contact the hotel directly and ask about the accessibility of these areas!! Don't assume!
Wheelchair Accessible: Again, See Above.
Yes, there's a tick for "Wheelchair accessible." But, see my earlier rambling about accessibility. "Accessible" can mean many things. Research it!
Internet Access: Praise Be for Free Wi-Fi (Mostly).
Okay, something they did get right: FREE Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! No nickel-and-diming for internet! Even better, they’ve got “Internet access – wireless” and “Internet access – LAN” (for those old-school types who still want to hardwire). And "Wi-Fi in public areas." That's a win in my book. I need to work sometimes, and a decent internet connection is a necessity, not a luxury.
Things To Do, Ways To Relax: Let's Get Pampered (Maybe?).
Alright, the "Things to do" section is where things get interesting… and potentially indulgent. They’ve got a Fitness center, a Gym/fitness, Swimming pool, [outdoor], Sauna, Spa, and Steamroom. Now, my inner couch potato is thrilled. My other, slightly more ambitious elf wants to get into shape.
- The Fitness Center: I'm picturing basic equipment: Treadmills (check!), elliptical (maybe?), and hopefully, some accessible machines. I'll need to see it to believe it.
- Swimming Pool: Outdoor pool? YES. This is where the real fun begins!
- Spa & Sauna: This is where it gets interesting…I'm a sucker for a good spa day. Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Spa/sauna, and Foot bath - oh my! This is the crucial part of the review. I'm imagining myself, stressed and knotted, melting under the skilled hands of a massage therapist… Okay, I need this. But is it good? Are the therapists skilled? What kind of products do they use? Is the atmosphere relaxing, or more like a noisy, utilitarian spa? I demand details! I need to know if this spa is worth the splurge because nothing is more disappointing than a terrible massage after you've been looking forward to it for months!
- The Sauna and steamroom. I'm a sauna and steamroom enthusiast.
Cleanliness and Safety: A Pandemic-Era Assessment.
Alright, let's talk about the elephant in the room: COVID-19 (and whatever else lurks in the air these days). They claim to have their act together, and it's crucial that a hotel is clean and safe right now.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment…it sounds good on paper, right? I'm particularly relieved to see Room sanitization opt-out available, because the fumes… They can be irritating.
- Are the staff masked? Do they enforce the distancing rules? These are the real-world questions. They can claim all the safety protocols they want, but it's all about the execution.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Fun!
Now for the most important part for me: EATING. They seem to have a decent variety. Restaurants, a bar, a coffee shop, and a snack bar? YES. Give me all those options. In terms of variety, they list Asian, International and Western cuisine in the restaurant, which means I'll have plenty of choices here.
- Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Poolside bar, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant,…. Okay, the Buffet in restaurant makes me a little nervous. Are they doing it safely? Are things covered? Is the food fresh?
- Room service [24-hour] IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL.
- Happy hour…I like it.
- Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Bottle of water, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Essential condiments, Food delivery, Kids meal,… Okay, so they have options for picky eaters, or for those who need it.
Services and Conveniences: The Extras That Matter.
This is where a hotel can really shine (or fall flat on its face). They cover a lot of bases here.
- Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center,…
- Contactless check-in/out: I love this! Because the less contact I have with anyone right now, the better.
- Concierge: I can't function in a new city without one.
- Meeting/banquet facilities: They seem to handle a lot.
- Dry cleaning/laundry: Fantastic for business travel.
- The gift shop is a big plus.
- Doorman: Love the doorman.
For the Kids: Family Friendly? Maybe.
They list babysitting service, family/child friendly, and kids facilities, and kids meal. So, it sounds like they've thought about the little ones.
Access, Security, and Safety: Peace of Mind.
This is a big one.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Non-smoking rooms, Proposal spot, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms, Smoke detector, Fire extinguisher, … Okay, this is reassuring. 24-hour security is a must, as is having Smoke alarms.
- Check-in/out [express] is good if you're in a hurry.
- Couple's room and Proposal spot… interesting! (wink wink).
Getting Around: Easy Access?
They offer airport transfer, bicycle parking, car park [free of charge], car park [on-site], car power charging station, taxi service, and valet parking. This is fantastic. The "Car park [free of charge]" is especially welcome, because parking fees annoy me!
Available in All Rooms: The Nitty-Gritty.
This is ALL of the stuff that's actually in the rooms.
- **Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're talking Quality Inn & Suites Ashland near Kings Dominion, baby! Sounds glamorous, I know. But hey, we're here, we're alive, and we're going to make the most of it, damn it. This is less a schedule, more a…survival guide.
Day 1: Arrival, Hope, and the Crushing Reality of the Microwave's Smell
1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Travel Shenanigans – Richmond (ish) to Ashland. (Hope springs eternal)
- Packed the car. Forgot the phone charger (classic). Realized halfway there that the kid needed a potty break, and again. Found a gas station that looked like it hadn't been updated since the Eisenhower administration. The coffee was… well, let's just say it required industrial-grade cream and a prayer. But hey, we made it! Richmond suburbs are a blur of chain restaurants and strip malls – the American Dream, baby!
- Impression of the Drive: 6/10. Not a disaster. Just… a drive.
2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Check-In – Quality Inn! (The anticipation is killing me!)
- Okay, the Quality Inn. Let's not pretend we're staying at the Ritz. "Warm welcome" is what they go for. The lobby smells faintly of chlorine and… something else. I’m not sure what. Maybe old carpet? Maybe the lingering spirits of past weary travelers? Whatever.
- The desk clerk was… well, she existed. Efficient, if a little jaded. "Enjoy your stay," she mumbled, handing over the key. I wanted to say, "I'll try," but I just grunted.
3:00 PM - 4:00 PM: The Hotel Room Reveal (And the Microwave's Grim Secret)
- The room. Ah, yes. Let's just say the photos online were taken with a filter so potent it could raise the dead. Still, the beds look clean, the bathroom seems functional. And, bless its little chrome heart, there's a microwave! (This is important, trust me.)
- Immediate Red Flag: The microwave. The smell emanating from that thing. It could curdle milk. I think someone, somewhere, had a very bad experience with popcorn in there. I am suddenly questioning my life choices.
- Emotional Reaction: Mild panic. Contemplating a tactical retreat to the nearest fast-food restaurant for sustenance.
4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Unpacking, and Desperate Plea for WiFi
- Unpacked, and quickly realized I overpacked. Always the same. Wife asks me to unpack her things and I'm like, "Why didn't you do it yourself?" Kids are screaming about the TV, and I'm trying to find an internet signal that doesn’t involve dial-up.
- Quirky Observation: There's a map of the local area on the wall. It highlights… the Golden Corral and the Kings Dominion entrance. Ah, the cultural richness of Ashland, Virginia.
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner (May the Odds Be Ever in Our Favor)
- Found a pizza place. It was fine. The kids ate, which is a win. I ate, realizing I’m probably going to have heartburn for the next 3 days.
- Opinion: Pizza is pizza. It's never bad. But sometimes, it feels like a compromise.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Night Entertainment… aka, Bedtime Battles
- Bedtime battles. The usual. Bribery, threats, promises. Finally, silence. Bliss. The kids are in bed. I can now plan the next day's adventure, or fall asleep to the dulcet tones of the AC unit. It’s a close call.
- Emotional Reaction: Exhaustion. Pure, unadulterated, bone-deep exhaustion.
Day 2: Kings Dominion! And the Emotional Rollercoaster That Is Theme Park Life
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: The Breakfast Debacle
- Complimentary breakfast, the hotel claimed. Reality: a sadness buffet. Stale pastries, questionable coffee, and what appeared to be scrambled eggs that had seen better centuries. I ate anyway. I blame hunger mixed with the general feeling of impending doom that is a trip to Kings Dominion.
- Anecdote: I swear, there was a woman aggressively hoarding sausage. Sausage! I wanted it. I did. I just couldn't stoop to her level.
- Opinion: Free breakfast is not always a good thing.
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Kings Dominion – The Rush Begins!
- The park. The crowds. The overwhelming… everything. Managed to get the kids through the entrance and, immediately, lost my phone. Cue the panic.
- Quirky Observation: The number of people with strollers at a theme park is staggering. It's like a mobile baby parade.
9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Rollercoasters, Queues, and the Pursuit of Happiness
- Rode a couple of rides. The kids were thrilled. I screamed. A lot. The lines… oh, the lines! It's a lesson in patience and the relentless pursuit of fun.
- Doubling Down on an experience: The Flight of Fear. Oh, GOD the Flight of Fear. Imagine, if you will, sitting in a dark tunnel. Your heart is already racing. The coaster is about to launch you, at incredible speeds, into darkness. And you can't see anything! It’s total sensory deprivation. The ride is over in seconds. But in those seconds, you feel like you've aged a decade. My reaction at the exit? Pure, unadulterated joy. I am alive. I want to do it again.
- Emotional Reaction: A thrilling mix of adrenaline, terror, and a deep-seated yearning for a nap.
- Rode a couple of rides. The kids were thrilled. I screamed. A lot. The lines… oh, the lines! It's a lesson in patience and the relentless pursuit of fun.
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch (Price of a Small Car)
- Lunch. The prices. I’m pretty sure I paid more for a hot dog than my initial mortgage payment. The food itself? Edible. Overpriced. Expected.
- Opinion: Theme park food: You buy it. You eat it. You move on.
1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Games, Shows, and the Endless Pursuit of "Just One More Souvenir"
- Tried to win a stuffed animal. Failed miserably. Saw a show. It was… entertaining. Bought a few overpriced trinkets. Regretting it already.
- Anecdote: My kid begged me for a giant, plastic sword. I caved. Now I'm carrying a small weapon around. Hope I can avoid any potential duels.
4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: The Exit Strategy (aka, The Great Exodus)
- Navigated the throngs of exhausted families. Found my phone (thank god). Made it back to the parking lot. Victory! Or, at least, temporary freedom.
- Emotional Reaction: Relief! And the beginning of a nagging headache.
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner Round Two & More Pizza??
- Somewhere, somehow, we found food. Surprisingly, it wasn't pizza this time. It was… well, let's not dwell on the details.
- Opinion: At this point, I’m just fueling the machine.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Collapse, TV, and the Lingering Scent of… Something… Still
- Back at the Quality Inn. The TV. The air conditioning. The silent battle with the microwave's smell. My brain is mush.
- Quirky Observation: The wallpaper in this room is oddly patterned, like a psychedelic explosion of 80s geometric shapes. I'm starting to hallucinate.
Day 3: Departure and the Promise of the Real World
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: The Breakfast Blues (Part 2)
- The same breakfast as yesterday. I ate a donut. Regrets.
- Emotional Reaction: Resigned acceptance.
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Packing, Checking Out, and a Final Glimpse of the Microwave
- Packed. Checked out. Said our farewells to the Quality Inn. Tried to avoid a final, lingering sniff of the offensive microwave. Succeeding.
- Opinion: I'll never forget this experience. Or at least, I hope I won’t.
**9:00 AM
Okay, Seriously, Is This Hotel REALLY "Ashland's Best?" Sounds like a Load of Marketing Fluff...
And, you know what else? The *price* compared to some of the other places nearby? That's actually pretty attractive. So, "best"? Maybe not. "Solid and practical for the Kings Dominion trip?" Absolutely. Don't expect the world. Expect a softish bed to crash on after you’ve had your spirit battered at Intimidator 305. That's what it's about, right?
What's the deal with the location? How close am I *really* to Kings Dominion? Walking distance? Because I REALLY hate walking after a day at KD.
What about the rooms? Clean? Big? Modern? I'm used to luxury! (Kidding, mostly...)
Food! Restaurants? Breakfast? Or am I on my own for that crucial morning caffeine fix?
What else is there near the hotel to do, besides Kings Dominion? I mean, I need *something* to do when I’m not being terrified on a rollercoaster… (kidding, mostly)
I went on a trip back. No real options. You are at least going to need a plan!
Okay, you've painted a… *realistic* picture. Would you stay there again? Be honest!
